Reflections on Change: In Full Color

I was in my car waiting to make a left on the main street of our small New England town. I took a few deep breaths as I looked around, taking in the sea of fall color. The trees are once again clad in red, rust, and gold. As the wind blew gently, leaves began to waltz all around me. I smiled.

Looking at them, I felt quiet and peaceful. My heart felt the coming of change again. Winter will follow fall and spring will follow winter. I remembered how reluctantly I observed the first signs of fall, trying to hold on to every minute of warmth and sunshine. Fall signaled the inevitability of winter. Not a promising thought for someone who craves sunshine constantly. Yet, here I am today, welcoming the sight of the trees surrendering their foliage.

I feel a sense of excitement and adventure bubbling inside. What will this fall and the coming winter bring? As you think of changes that are happening or have happened in your life, what do fall and winter symbolize for you?

The changing seasons provide valuable insights about our personal transitions and how they progress. What will this fall and winter bring? I see these two seasons as an opportunity for deeper reflection and contemplation. During fall and winter my need for quiet and introspection increases. When I look around I find that I am pulled to a different direction. For years I have lived through the conflict of having to be too active during the time when I feel the need to slow down the most. Holiday celebrations, family gatherings, school events, and work demand my attention and claim my energy with a sense of urgency. I continuously face the dilemma of creating the time to go within while balancing life’s realities.

It is not easy to carve time for solitude and introspection. But we need to be able to process our experiences and reflect upon our journey, our insights, our relationships, and our emotions if we want to be fully present in our lives. How do we go about creating the inner space for guidance and clarity to come in?

Why not begin by creating a sacred place for ourselves, a room or a corner, where we can go and just be? Why not take fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, one hour each day and practice “being?” Being quiet, thoughtful, and introspective, listening to our own inner voice and breathing in relaxation. It can be done.

I remember when my children were infants, the long waking, working hours, and the feeling of exhaustion. The days and hours would just blend into each other. Every day around one in the afternoon they would take a nap. After many attempts at being productive at that time, I realized that what I craved the most was stillness. So, I did just that. I would make myself a pot of tea and serve it in my favorite tea cup. I would light a candle and sit in front of my biggest window, put my feet up and allow myself to take it all in. Sometimes it was thirty minutes and sometimes it was one hour. At the end of this break I felt rested, excited, ready to go hug my kids again and experience joy. I still remember how I felt.

I envisioned my business during those times. It did not happen suddenly. Rather it happened over time, slowly. The vision came in first as a “what if” question, then as a daydream, and finally as clear knowledge of what needed to happen next.

I believe it is in honoring our deepest needs that our intuition, self-love, and true respect find their expression. What good are we to anyone when we ignore our needs and allow exhaustion and resentment to settle in? To walk our path with trust and confidence we need to learn to listen to our inner voice and allow it to guide us. As we enter one more fall, one more winter, let’s make a promise to ourselves. Today I will listen to my body, I will listen to my heart and I will do something about it.

Article written by Yota Schneider
www.openforsuccess.com

The Value of Rituals During Times of Grief

The front page of my morning paper had an in depth story about a couple who'd lost their son in a car accident in early January. It was a difficult article to read...the pain the couple feels was understandably intense.

A couple of things kept me reading through my tears.

As a high school athlete, this young man was well-liked by many.
I was particularly touched by how his friends came together to celebrate, honor, and remember their friend. The rituals they've created to help them keep moving are many and go far beyond creating a community memorial at the site of the accident.

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Sharing Personal Problems at Work

Nearly everyone you talk to says it is NOT appropriate to talk about your personal problems at work. Ever. Furthermore, you should never allow your true emotions to come to the surface during work hours.

I suspect the people who espouse these rules have never been in the middle of a divorce, received a call about a loved one, or dealt with their own illness.

I agree that you don't want to blab every detail of your personal problems at work...but I do not agree that you should hide everything.

The_power_of_nice_1 A new book, The Power of Nice: How to Conquor the Business World with Niceness, recommends that one tenet of having a nice workplace is to encourage people to share their problems at work. Their experience is that when people have permission to share what's happening with them, they share their story, shed a tear perhaps, and then show up for work ready and willing to give their all to their job.

I believe that when people have to hide their true transition reality they have to invest so much energy in holding it together and making sure that they don't blow their cover, that they are only partially available to do their work! Rather than feeling supported and honored for what they are going through, they feel they must defend their position, project a mask of strength and an "I'm fine" attitude. Add this stress to the stress they are already feeling from their transition and they are plum exhausted!

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Coming Home to a Cozy Space

Aspen and I arrived home on Saturday, December 16th, after a flight from Dallas. Aside from a near miss with the breeder at the airport, we had an uneventful flight. My seat mates on the plane were quite enamored by him and didn't mind his occasional cries when he woke up and didn't know quite where he was or where he was going.

Aspen_2_121806

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Waiting for the Shuttle Return

As the nation and the world await the return of the shuttle Discovery, we are experiencing the discomfort of Fall.

We are a bit edgy. Worried and anxious about the how events will unfold on Monday as the shuttle reenters the atmosphere. Images from the Columbia disaster lurk in our memory. We fear a repeat of that disaster.

If you aren't that concerned about this event yourself, think of the astronauts' families and what they are going through. Although the astronauts signed up for the risks, the family members are facing this potential transition without much choice.

They are all, at this moment, wrestling in their own way with:

  • The waiting
  • The worrying
  • The anxiety

If you've ever awaited news about a biopsy, the feelings are quite similar. You can't make time go faster. You can't know the outcome until the outcome unfolds. Until then, you must deal with the scenarios that play out in your mind. They may range from "I'm fine. Nothing is going to happen" to "This is it. The worst possible scenario is the way this is going to play out."

When you are in the waiting and worrying mode of Fall, be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with people who care about you and what you are going through. Reach out for companionship that  is supportive of where you are. Do what you can to stay relaxed -- it won't be easy, but keeping your cool will help you navigate whatever path is ahead.

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