Seasons of Change Blog

Katrina...I'm speechless

What to say about the pictures we are seeing in the South.

The damage, the devastation, the pain, the anguish...almost more than can be put into words. Even newscasters seem to be shocked by what they see.

Although we could see this storm coming and many people acted on the order to evacuate, the property damage reminds me of the tsunami in December, 2005. I heard one person say that Katrina is "our" tsunami. Now that the evacuation sites, aren't safe, the journey to safety continues.

As I did in the days following the tsunami, I'm asking myself questions I don't know the answers to.

• How does one rebuild a city that is 80% under water?
• How do we support the people who are now homeless?
• How do people make sense of the complete loss they are experiencing - home, community, neighbors, city, work, family, memories, belongings.
• How do people handle the fear when they don't have anywhere to go?
• What is going on in the minds of those who are looting?

I could go on. My mind keeps spinning as I try to wrap my mind about the impact this multi-faceted transition is having on individuals, families, communities, cities, states, our country, and the world.

Transitions in the Wake of Katrina

As Hurricane Katrina charges forward she leaves a path of soggy destruction in her wake, I think of the transitions that will touch each of the residents of the region.

First, there's the trauma of evacuating...the lines and lines of cars moving in slow motion...and the lines and lines of people entering shelters. Althernatively, for those who didn't evacuate, there's the experience of surviving the storm itself - the wind, the rising water, the damage to their homes, the fear.

Second, there's the waiting...not knowing when they can go back to their homes...wondering what will be there when they do make it back. Even though the worst of the storm has passed, the govenor of Louisiana has asked her residents not to return to their homes until tomorrow. That's going to be a long wait!

Third, there's the first glimpse of their homes. Here the reality hits home. Whether the damage is more or less than they expected, the reality of the damage to their homes and their neighborhoods is likely to hit hard.

And the transitions just keep coming...

Fourth, there's the clean up. Although the world watches intently for the fews few weeks, the clean up will continue for some time...at the governmental level as well as the household level.

Fifth, there's the assessment of their options...working with insurance companies and local and federal agencies creates a maze of steps to take to understand just where they stand.

Sixth, there's the decision...to rebuild or not to rebuild. No matter which way each family goes...rebuilding their lives, often from scratch, takes time, patience, and faith.

If you know anyone in the Hurricane Zone, be sure to keep them in your thoughts. Reach out to them as the emergency passes. Listen to their story...retelling it will help them heal. If they are having a difficult time adjusting to their new life, recommend they speak with a professional so they don't have to live with their fear and distress for years to come.

No matter how you look at it, this storm is likely to be remembered for a long, long time.

Nurturing Insights vs Jumping into Action Too Soon

One of my Seasons of Change Professionals asked me how she could tell when a client was having a Winter Solstice breakthrough and when he was prematurely jumping at an idea.

(First, let me explain the Winter Solstice phrase she used. Within my model, The Seasons of Change, a person in transition reaches a point where they are able to gain new insights about themselves and their situation. Usually this insight happens during the dark night of the soul, (or Winter), when they've surrendered to the fact that they really don't have or don't know the answer to their situation. (If you'd like more information about The Seasons of Change, visit my site or read the book.))

Now back to her question. This is actually a great distinction to make--especially if you support clients in transition.

A client's Winter Solstice insights usually manifest as new ways to see themselves or their situation, new ideas, or new perspectives of a past event. The idea itself, whatever it is, begins to shine some light on their past.

Notice that all of these are ideas...not actions. If someone takes action on a Winter Solstice insight as soon as they grasp it...that's premature jumping. By moving into action so soon after having a new insight, your client runs the risk of acting before the full picture is clear.

The most well thought out actions come as a result of collecting a number of new ideas and weaving them together.  When someone jumps into action after just one insight they are missing a great opportunity. Typically a series of insights is much more powerful and long standing than a single insight. One way to think about this is to use a metaphor. Each idea is a seed...The more seeds that sprout, the more likely it is that the client can select  the sturdiest, strongest plant to nourish/act upon.

Encourage your client to stay in the insight mode for a while before they leap into action. Sometimes the second and third insight...and even the tenth...bring new wisdom and perspective that help steer the client in a solid direction.

If you'd like to feel comfortable applying The Seasons of Change model in your work with clients in Transition, learn more about becoming a Seasons of Change Professional. The next training group starts September 26, 2005.

The Pace of Change

"New results take time. Being patient about evolution is one of the most difficult traits to learn. In our fast paced, “I want it now” society, watching small steps turn into big differences can be excruciating.  Just Remember… All great changes take time!"

This emailed quote of the day references something my clients struggle with all the time. (For a description of the synchronistic way I found this quote...see comment below.)

Often clients lament about how long it's taking them to transition from one life to the next. They want to hurry up. They want it all to be over so they can get on with life.

The truth of the matter is that transitions and the journeys they trigger ARE life.

In the natural world, most creation and destruction transitions are gradual (plants and animals grow, plants and animals die and decay). Both growth and decay are typically processes that happen incrementally.

Of course there are transitions in nature that appear to happen instantaneously (a butterfly coming out of a cocoon, a tornado touching down). But in actuality, even these transitions developed over time (the caterpillar was in the cocoon state for some time before it broke free and found it could fly, the tornado required that a certain weather pattern develop before it formed.)

As you walk through your transition journey, don't fret about how long it is taking. It's going to take as long as it takes, no matter how you want it to go. I've found the more I surrender to the process of letting go or of growing, the faster the process seems to go. The more time and energy I spend trying to force the system to hurry up, the slower my progress.

If you haven't read my book, The Seasons of Change, check it out. It spells out where to put your focus during each phase of the transition process to faciliate your process.

(For some time now I've been getting "Power Thoughts" in my spam folder. I had no idea what they were or why I was getting them. Last night I just happened to open the email to see what these Power Thoughts were. I think I know...my husband, a professional photographer, and I went to a photography conference several years ago and I think they were speakers.)

Quote by:

Power Thoughts

Sondra Ayers & Jerry Deck

POWER Consulting

(Photography consultants)

My Heart Goes out to Dana Reeve

I just heard that Dana Reeve, Christopher Reeve's widow, has been diagnosed with lung cancer and is undergoing treatments.

My first thought was, haven't she and her family been through enough already? Do they have to face an intense health related situation again so soon? Can't they be spared this experience? How is their young son faring?

Then I remembered what my family went through in the late 80's and early 90's. In 1985 my father was diagnosed with lymphoma. He died 18 monhts later right after I finished graduate school and relocated to CA. My mom has several surgeries that could have led to the discovery of cancer (thankfully the word "benign" was the main word in those experiences). In 1989, just weeks after the Loma Prieta Earthquake, one of my grandfathers died. Within weeks we moved my grandmother, who was dealing with dementia and the loss of her husband of 58 years, to a retirement home. Six months later my other grandfather and his wife died. The same year I was troubled by a fatigue problem in which a 10 minute walk put me in bed for three to four hours. My health triggered my realization that I needed to create work that was outside the structures of the corporate world so I embarked on my career change in 1991. In 1992, my mother was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer...thankfully she is a survivor!

I remember conversations within our family: "Will this ever end?" "What will happen next?" It got to the point that I started to fabricate the next event in my mind. This kind of thinking was not at all helpful as I worried endlessly. Gradually I was able to find my way beyond the constant, vigilant worry mode.

To this day I don't know why we had such a series of difficult situations to face. I do know that walking through that series of transitions led me to my life's work. Although I was already interested in transitions, experiencing the transitions myself heightened my awareness of what people go through when faced with a difficult transition or a series of them. I felt a passionate desire to find ways to help others navigate difficult times.

I know Dana, who went through so much with Chris, will draw upon what she learned during his journey to find her way through this one. I wish her health!

Waiting for the Shuttle Return

As the nation and the world await the return of the shuttle Discovery, we are experiencing the discomfort of Fall.

We are a bit edgy. Worried and anxious about the how events will unfold on Monday as the shuttle reenters the atmosphere. Images from the Columbia disaster lurk in our memory. We fear a repeat of that disaster.

If you aren't that concerned about this event yourself, think of the astronauts' families and what they are going through. Although the astronauts signed up for the risks, the family members are facing this potential transition without much choice.

They are all, at this moment, wrestling in their own way with:

• The waiting
• The worrying
• The anxiety

If you've ever awaited news about a biopsy, the feelings are quite similar. You can't make time go faster. You can't know the outcome until the outcome unfolds. Until then, you must deal with the scenarios that play out in your mind. They may range from "I'm fine. Nothing is going to happen" to "This is it. The worst possible scenario is the way this is going to play out."

When you are in the waiting and worrying mode of Fall, be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with people who care about you and what you are going through. Reach out for companionship that  is supportive of where you are. Do what you can to stay relaxed -- it won't be easy, but keeping your cool will help you navigate whatever path is ahead.

Exploring the Flow of Nature

The other night my husband and I happened upon a television show called SPARK on our local PBS station that intrigued us both. The episode was called All Natural.

Chris Drury, a British land artist, used materials from nature to replicate processes found in nature and the body. As it happens Chris was the artist in residence at a local art center, Villa Montalvo in Saratoga, CA. He was on site this spring to create three installations - a 60 foot tall vortex out of willow branches that spiraled down around the length of a redwood tree. He also create a mural of enlarged fingerprints and a sculpture of vortex made out of pine needles.

His work reminded us of another land artist - Andy Goldsworthy, also from Britain, who was focus of the movie Rivers and Tides.

Both of these artists connect with the land and nature to create art installations that blend with their surroundings as if they have always been there.

If you ever feel you want to find a new way to connect with nature, watch Rivers and Tides or visit the websites noted here to get a sense of how they express their connection.

Feeling Unrooted

On of my favorite ways to settle myself when I'm in a time of transition is to spend time in nature.

• Taking a walk in the neighborhood
• Sitting in a quiet meadow
• Taking a hike in a forest
• Sitting on a rock above the crashing waves of the ocean
• Walking around a mountain lake
• Listening to a babbling brook

Looking. Listening. Experiencing. Breathing. Taking in as many details as I can to recreate the scene for myself when I want to revisit my connection.

My need to connect with nature gets stronger the more time I've been away from it.

Andy Goldsworthy, a British land-artist, feels this need for connection very strongly. In fact, he is driven to be out in nature, finding ways to create artist pieces using the natural materials that are a part of the location. In a movie chronicling his work, Rivers and Tides, he says "When I'm not out here (alone) for any lenght of time, I feel unrooted."

His quote brings up another good point...the need/desire to be alone in nature. Being alone allows us to build our relationship with the elements of nature around us...rather than being split between focusing on our own experience of nature and our interaction with a companion.

The next time you are feeling frazzled by a transition, take some time to connect with nature. Giving yourself this gift of connection helps you feel more grounded during your times of change.