Seasons of Change Blog

Action for Nature - Young People Taking Action for the Environment

The other night while watching the news I heard about an organization called  Action For Nature (AFN.) This USA-based nonprofit organization "inspires young people to take action for the environment and protect the natural world in their own neighborhood and around the world."

Our local news highlighted one of the young people who had been named one of the 2006 International Young Eco-Heroes. Evan Green, 10 years old, inspired friends, neighbors, and acquaintances to participate in conservation fundraiser called Bowl the Planet. The end result...his team has "raised enough money to save more than 16 acres of threatened habitat in the Guanacaste Conservation Area of Costa Rica, which contains about 300,000 species of organisms in tropical dry forest, cloud forest, and rainforest - roughly 2.4% of the world's terrestrial biodiversity." What makes this story even more inspiring is that this young man has done this fundraiser for the last three years even though he suffers from a chronic disease. His passion for the earth keeps him going!

If you want a bit of inspiration, read about some of the other Eco-Heroes! Perhaps there's something you can add to your way of living life so that you can minimize your impact on the earth. For instance, I just learned that "Americans waste 4 millions gallons of gas a day driving on under-inflated tires." Are you driving on under-inflated tires? Visit 13 year old, Savannah Walters' website site "Pump 'em Up" (www.pumpemup.org) to find out how to save gas!

Migrating Birds See No Borders

The other day I saw an interesting story about a specialist in migratory birds who sees these birds as a powerful tool for peace. As he notes, birds flying overhead don't see any borders as they fly from their summer habitat to their winter habitat.

In addition to his scientific study, this scientist sponsors a field trip in Israel that brings Muslim, Christian, and Jewish students together to learn about the birds. During the field trip, the students split off into threesomes, with one member from each group. As they cooperate to work on their assignments they also get to know each other as individuals. It was a heartwarming sight to witness.

Unfortunately recent violence prevented the field trip this year, the scientist continues his quest to use his work with migratory birds to show the various communities that they do have something they all share - the environment!

(I'm sorry I don't have links to more information about this story...I didn't have a pen handy to mark down all the critical informtion, but the story stuck with me so I decided to share it anyway. My hope is my memory held the critical details accurately.)

Create a Winter Solstice to Remember

This week, as we approach the Winter Solstice and pass through it, is the darkest week of the year. Due to the sun's path, the days are as short as they will be all year and they nights are as long as they will be.

Many people bemoan the darkness. It affects them in ways that make them feel depressed, uncomfortable, and uneasy.

To me the darkness is rich with promise, hope, and potential. I love this time of year. I know the magic that can happen during this auspicious time.

A Sign from Sunrise

Yesterday I was sitting in the vet's examining room with my puppy, Aspen. I'd finished filling out the paper work and was looking at the photos of the animals on the wall...All of a sudden I saw a photo of Sunrise, my previous dog, in her older years.

There she was, lying with her head on a big fleece bone that she always used as her pillow. From the time she was a puppy I called her "pillow girl" because she'd always find a way to put her head on a pillow!

"My dog ate my paper."

I now know exactly where that phrase comes from!

I decided it would be appropriate to write my first few Aspen Antics posts as he played in the kitchen this afternoon. I brought my paper, pen, and a box to write on...sat down on the floor with him, and suddenly, I was the best toy in town!

Coming Home to a Cozy Space

Aspen and I arrived home on Saturday, December 16th, after a flight from Dallas. Aside from a near miss with the breeder at the airport, we had an uneventful flight. My seat mates on the plane were quite enamored by him and didn't mind his occasional cries when he woke up and didn't know quite where he was or where he was going.

The Loss of Relationships during Times of Transition

If your "family and friends" don't honor and respect what you need at this time of loss, you may decide to limit your time with them for the time being. It's incredibly important to surround yourself with people and situations that support you in healing and moving forward.

People who want you to be exactly who you were before your loss, aren't clear on the concept. It's likely they haven't been through a loss...or if they have, they didn't deal with their loss very consciously. Being around you may trigger their own feelings of loss and pain that they don't know how to handle. Your job isn't to talk them into healing...your job is to take care of yourself and your own needs. When you feel stronger you'll be able to decide when it's time to interact with them again.

It's always hard to step away from loved ones during a time of loss...in a way it adds insult to the injury of your original loss. During this time when you are feeling especially vulnerable, you want to connect with those you love and are familiar with...you want to be able to depend on them. You want to be able to feel their love and support. When they aren't able to support you it feels like another layer of abandonment....yet another loss.

I have seen this pattern time and time again. I first noticed this pattern in my own life when friends didn't know how to be with me as I was grieving for my father's death and dealing with my own physical burnout.

The Key Is Taking Care of Yourself

What I discovered is that it was important for me to learn how to nurture and support myself. At times I was very, very lonely...and yet over time I did learn how to take care of myself. I became so much stronger as I moved through my healing. By the time I was ready to enter Spring and join others in activities, I no longer feared being alone. I knew, without a doubt, that I could depend on myself during difficult times.

When you find that you can't rely on friends and family members to support you in your healing journey, know that you are being asked to learn how to take care of yourself. Rather than focus on what's going on outside of yourself, turn your attention inward. Be attentive and compassionate about your own needs.

Find a Support Group

I'm not suggesting that you must live all alone...what I am saying is that your current social network may not be the best source of support at this time. Instead of turning to those who don't understand you or what you are experiencing, reach out to others who are experiencing similar circumstances.

Where should you start? Look around your community for support groups that would be a good fit for you. If you can't find anything local, search on the internet. See if you can find a Yahoo Group for people in your situation. If neither of these options pans out, create your own support group.

As hard as it may be to believe, you aren't the only one who is having a difficult time with your loss. By joining a group, you'll discover how reassuring it can be to hear how others are handling loss, how they are finding creative ways to move forward, and how refreshing it is to help others find their way through the maze of loss.

If you join a group and you aren't getting anything out of it, keep searching. Don't just give up on getting support from a group of people who are going through a similar loss. What's missing? Would you do better in a group that meets in person. Would you be more comfortable with the anonymity of an online group. Only you can do the detective work to discover the kind of group that will be best for you!

Holidays Can Trigger Your Feelings of Loss - Part 2

In my previous post I wrote about how to take care of yourself during the holidays when you've experienced a recent loss. I encouraged you to get clear about what you need during this emotionally charged time. This post takes it one step further...

Even if you can't act on your needs in the moment, honor your needs enough to recognize and acknowledge how you feel. When you are faced with a similar situation or similar feelings in the future, you will have more knowledge about your own needs. With this new information about yourself, you'll be better able to create circumstances that will work for you.

For example, if you want to spend some time alone this holiday, be true to yourself and create a way to do just that. It's perfectly natural to want to hibernate during this time to feel your emotions in a safe environment. Perhaps you set aside a day for yourself when it doesn't impact time with your loved ones. Or you might feel that the usual holiday festivities are just too much for you. If there's a way, you might want to make other plans or limit the amount of time you spend at the big event.

Even though it may feel foreign, ask those around you for what you need. It's true that some may not understand your request. They may find strength and normalcy when they are surrounded by tranditional activities and other people. Others will understand you and support you in what you need. Do what you can to create the circumstances that will be best for you.

For instance, if you can't figure out a way to stay away from the family gathering all together, see what you can do to limit your stay or take on a task (peeling the potatoes or washing the dishes) that helps you avoid the frenzy of activity.

If you must attend the festivities, plan some quiet time for yourself before the event or plan a special day for yourself before or after with the goal of doing what you need to take care of yourself.

Be gentle with yourself as you move through the holidays this year. Honor your needs and you will find a new source of peace within yourself.

Holidays Can Trigger Your Feelings of Loss - Part 1

If you've experienced a difficult loss this year or in recent years--a death in the family, an illness, a divorce, a job loss, a natural disaster or a combination of losses--you may find the holidays retrigger your feelings of loss.

In fact, you may be surprised by the depth of your emotions, the clarity of your memories, the details you recall, and how quickly you are taken back to your original loss. The flashes may happen so rapidly that they catch you off guard.

Although you may want these memories to go away, there's really no way to stop them. They are coming to you as a natural part of your healing/grieving process. As each memory comes to mind, they are giving you an important opportunity to feel the emotions you may not have been able to process earlier in your journey. Although it can be difficult, the more you can feel your emotions, the sooner you will move through and beyond your grief.

Whether you are experiencing your first holiday season without a loved one, your home, or your health, you are likely to face situations that bring up old memories and remind you, in no uncertain terms, that your life has changed.

Unfortunately, there's really no way to rewind your life to get it back how it was. There's no way to regain your normal life. There's also no way to ignore what you are feeling.

The only way to navigate this difficult, emotional time is to be very clear about what you need during this season.

1) How do you want to feel? Do you want to reflect? Escape? Remember? Forget?

2) What do you need this season? Do you want time alone? Do you want to spend time with friends? Do you want to get out of town?

3) How can you take care of yourself? Do you need rest? Do you need to spend time in nature? Do you need a quiet day? Do you need to spend time with others of your faith?

4) What rituals can you create to honor your loss and help you move into the future? Is there a poem that speaks to you? Is there a song that soothes you or inspires you? Is there a place you'd like to visit to remember?

As you move through the holidays, take time to check in with yourself each day. Sense what you need for yourself each day....each hour....each minute. As you reconnect with your true needs, trust what you feel. Trust yourself to know what you need in any given situation.

Watch for Part 2 of this article...coming soon.

The Aroma of Molasses...Takes Me Back

Have you ever  gotten a whiff of an aroma that takes you back to a time in your past?

Tonight, as I opened a jar of molasses, I was transported back to another time and place.

For most of my life, the centerpoint of Christmas was the family coming together to build a gingerbread house from scratch! No kit...just a brown grocery bag that we used to make the templates for the various pieces of the house.

When I was young, the houses were fairly simple one room houses. As my brother and I entered high school and then college, the designs got more interesting! One year we attempted a two story Victorian...we refer to that house as the earthquake house because it's shape shifted a bit during execution! One year we built a house to match the vacation home we were planning and later we broke the mold completely to create a merry-go-round.

The first step was to mix the dough and place it in the refridgerator to chill. 24-48 hours later we'd roll out the dough and trace the pieces of the house. After we baked the pieces, they'd sit for a day or two to harden. And finally, with loads of powdered sugar frosting on hand, we'd start the decorating the pieces and assembling the house.

This production was a family affair...my Mom, brother, and I would come together for each step of the process....When we came home from college and graduate school, we'd gather in the kitchen to catch up with each other's lives. As I write this I just remembered, my letter of acceptance to college arrived as we were assembling the house! I remember my hands were completely covered in frosting as I opened the envelope!

In addition to being a centerpoint of our holiday decorations, the gingerbread house was also an important ritual for welcoming in the New Year. We waited with anticipation as January 1st arrived. Finally we could take our first bite!

Just one whiff of molasses takes me back to my favorite holidary ritual in one heart beat!

What is your favorite holiday memory or ritual?
Is there an aroma you associate with a strong family memory?

Take a moment to revisit your past...enjoy your memories.