Seasons of Change Blog

Living in Full Bloom

Last week I lead a women’s retreat in a beautiful local garden.

The theme was “Living in Full Bloom.”  One activity was to stroll through the garden absorbing the environment with all of your senses. When you come upon something that really attracts or excites you, sit down and color it. (Everyone was given their own box of crayons!!!) Then write one or two sentences starting, “I like this ______ because…”

When we joined together as a group, everyone shared their artwork and description. Then I asked them to re-read the same passage but starting with, “I like myself because…”

A Delightful Sign of Spring

This morning when I let Aspen out for some play, I noticed a butterfly wafting around the yard.

My first thought...in January??

My second thought...a Mourning Cloak! I haven't seen one of these butterflies in decades. This particular one looked like a perfect specimen.

My third thought...one of delight as the butterfly nearly landed on Aspen! The butterfly flitted around for a minute or so, landed on the grass for a spell, and then flew over the fence to the neighbor's yard.

In reading the website for the butterfly, I learned they overwinter in the area rather than migrating or dying during the winter months. In some cases they'll hibernate in a tree cavity. An article in the San Francisco Chronicle indicated that a cold spell is what triggers these insects to prepare for Spring. In fact, the mild winter we had last year led to a dip in the population.

Ironically...the site indicated that one of the Mourning Cloak's food sources is Big Toothed Aspen! And at this time in his life, Aspen is all teeth at times!

Sorry I didn't get a photo of this moment...I knew I didn't have a chance...so I just watched and enjoyed the experience as it unfolded.

The Pace of Change

"New results take time. Being patient about evolution is one of the most difficult traits to learn. In our fast paced, “I want it now” society, watching small steps turn into big differences can be excruciating.  Just Remember… All great changes take time!"

This emailed quote of the day references something my clients struggle with all the time. (For a description of the synchronistic way I found this quote...see comment below.)

Often clients lament about how long it's taking them to transition from one life to the next. They want to hurry up. They want it all to be over so they can get on with life.

The truth of the matter is that transitions and the journeys they trigger ARE life.

In the natural world, most creation and destruction transitions are gradual (plants and animals grow, plants and animals die and decay). Both growth and decay are typically processes that happen incrementally.

Of course there are transitions in nature that appear to happen instantaneously (a butterfly coming out of a cocoon, a tornado touching down). But in actuality, even these transitions developed over time (the caterpillar was in the cocoon state for some time before it broke free and found it could fly, the tornado required that a certain weather pattern develop before it formed.)

As you walk through your transition journey, don't fret about how long it is taking. It's going to take as long as it takes, no matter how you want it to go. I've found the more I surrender to the process of letting go or of growing, the faster the process seems to go. The more time and energy I spend trying to force the system to hurry up, the slower my progress.

If you haven't read my book, The Seasons of Change, check it out. It spells out where to put your focus during each phase of the transition process to faciliate your process.

(For some time now I've been getting "Power Thoughts" in my spam folder. I had no idea what they were or why I was getting them. Last night I just happened to open the email to see what these Power Thoughts were. I think I know...my husband, a professional photographer, and I went to a photography conference several years ago and I think they were speakers.)

Quote by:

Power Thoughts

Sondra Ayers & Jerry Deck

POWER Consulting

(Photography consultants)

The Desire to Begin

A quote caught my eye the other day:

"If we don't know where to begin, we don't begin." Patton

Many of the clients I work with -- whether they are navigating a career change or going through a difficult transition -- are searching for and striving for something new.

• They want a new career
• They want a new relationship
• They want a new life

But for all their wanting, they don't know where to begin. They are confused. They have too many options or not enough. They are hurt. They are lost.

As much as they want to begin, they don't know where to start. They feel stuck in the not knowing.

Most believe that they must take action to start something -- post their resume online, start dating, move to a new home, start exercising -- anything to move themselves into the direction of creating something new.

When a client doesn't know where to start to create their new reality, I know they aren't ready for that step. Their desire is ahead of where they are in the process.

The key to creating a new beginning is to spend time reflecting on what you truly want. Not what you think you want in order to avoid the confusion of not knowing, but the actual, cellular knowing that tells you the direction you want to take. (I refer to this process as Wintering in The Seasons of Change). 

For my clients who have taken the time to reflect and have gotten very clear about what they want, the path to that beginning unfolds before them. The path is not a mystery. Although the entire pat may not be illuminated, the first few steps are there in full sight. 

If you don't know what you truly want, you can't know where to begin. Take a step back and reflect about what you truly want. (Visit the Winter sections of this blog for more information.)

If you know what you truly want, but you can't see the entire path, trust yourself to take the first few steps. Each step guides you to the next. If you need to make a course correction along the way, you can because you are allowing the path to unfold before you.