Something struck me when John and Elizabeth Edwards announced her the recurrence of her cancer.
At first I was concerned that they were in complete denial...who could imagine just carrying on after receiving news of the progression of her cancer. What were they thinking? Certainly the pundits had a field day with this question as well.
But then I saw them interviewed - on a couple of different news shows.
With their new Journeys line, Hallmark have just expanded their card sentiments beyond the usual Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, Love, Friendship, Get Well, Sympathy, Thank You, and Congratulations. Now Hallmark offers cards for a wide variety of transitions...
How times have changed in the last 16 years! In 1991 when I started my business, most people had no idea what I meant when I said I supported clients in transition. In that era, the word transition brought to mind someone passing away or going through menopause. Furthermore, the definition in the dictionary didn't help. It noted that a transition was a noun...but not a verb. So the dictionary recognized that transitions exist, but there were no words to describe that we moved through transitions or how we did it.
When we don't have words to describe what we are going through, we wonder whether what we are going through is real. We question ourselves. We downplay our experience. We try to rationalize away what we are feeling.
By creating a series of cards that give people the words to acknowledge what others are experiencing during times of change, Hallmark is giving a new sense of credibility to life transitions.
In the Journeys line, you can now find supportive cards for people who are experiencing a wide range of transitions.
Give me the courage to explore, to experience, and to bear the hidden anxiety and suffering that lie beneath the symptoms and the problem with which I am struggling. Help me not to condemn my stuckness, my repetitive patterns, and my resistance to change. Help to embrace the purpose of my stuckness and my resistance, so that with your support, I may become free to choose another way and a different solution.
Maureen Conroy
Photo from www.heritagehouseinn.com
Our backyard neighbors have two large dogs - a rottweiler and a german shepherd I believe. They've been a bit territorial about "their" back fence now that there's a little puppy on this side of the fence. Whenever they hear Aspen in the yard, they lunge at the fence and bark like crazy.
At first I thought Aspen might be afraid of them, and at times they do startle him into a run. More often than not it seems as though he likes to sneak up on the fence to tease them a bit. My sense is that he's doing it purposely to rile them up and get the "escape" run out of the process.
These big dogs also have a consistent habit of breaking into an extended howl any time there's a siren within earshot. We humans may not hear the siren stimulus, but it's got to be somewhere when they howl. Over the years, more dogs have joined in on the siren howl. I can't tell how many dogs join in, but I'm guessing it's at least four.
From the first time he heard it, Aspen has given me a quizzical look each time the howling begins. He's not sure what to do. Many times he'll come close to me and follow me back into the house.
Yesterday as I started into the house as usual and I heard an unfamiliar voice blending in with the choir. I turned around and got to the back door just in time to see Aspen sitting in a perfect wolf pose with his head thrown back. There he was howling at the sky! He moved around several times in the direction of the back door, and each time his instincts took over. He's sit down and be back in position, howling with the choir.
This all happened so fast I didn't get a picture of it...but I'll do my best to snap this image for you all to see. The siren choir is a fairly common occurrence around here so it may not take long.
I'm hoping this will be an outdoor activity only...I'm not too sure how the howling will go over when I'm being interviewed on the radio or conducting my teleclasses! We'll soon see. Part of puppy fun!
This morning I was sitting on the floor playing with Aspen. He'd been alone in the kitchen for an hour, so he was happy to see me and was playfully crawling all over my lap.
Gradually he mellowed out and I was able to roll him over to scratch his chest...and that's when I saw it! He'd just lost one of his insanely sharp baby teeth!
In my mind this is cause for celebration! There are quite a few more to go, but it's great to know the process has started. After he's lost all of his baby teeth, the theory goes, he won't teethe as much.
Now...to put this into perspective, it's actually amazing that I found his tooth on the kitchen floor. The tooth itself was the size of a medium sized grain of sea salt. If I hadn't been specifically scanning for his tooth, I'm sure I would have missed it!
The front page of my morning paper had an in depth story about a couple who'd lost their son in a car accident in early January. It was a difficult article to read...the pain the couple feels was understandably intense.
A couple of things kept me reading through my tears.
As a high school athlete, this young man was well-liked by many. I was particularly touched by how his friends came together to celebrate, honor, and remember their friend. The rituals they've created to help them keep moving are many and go far beyond creating a community memorial at the site of the accident.
Continue reading "The Value of Rituals During Times of Grief" »
This past weekend, temperatures finally got out of the teens, the sun was out, and my husband and I, after a very stressful week, decided to go out for a walk.
We drove to a national wildlife refuge and bird sanctuary, right in the middle of Philadelphia - the John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge at Tinicum. This refuge was boxed between the international airport, humongous gasoline tanks, Interstate 95, and low income housing.
But there we were on miles of trails walking through a beautiful frozen wetland, surrounded by tall grasses and cattails, great blue herons, and herds of deer. The occasional plane that flew over head only punctuated the quiet of the woods.
I thought, “This is truly a sanctuary.”
Continue reading "Finding Sanctuary in Winter by Karin Marcus" »
Nearly everyone you talk to says it is NOT appropriate to talk about your personal problems at work. Ever. Furthermore, you should never allow your true emotions to come to the surface during work hours.
I suspect the people who espouse these rules have never been in the middle of a divorce, received a call about a loved one, or dealt with their own illness.
I agree that you don't want to blab every detail of your personal problems at work...but I do not agree that you should hide everything.
A new book, The Power of Nice: How to Conquor the Business World with Niceness, recommends that one tenet of having a nice workplace is to encourage people to share their problems at work. Their experience is that when people have permission to share what's happening with them, they share their story, shed a tear perhaps, and then show up for work ready and willing to give their all to their job.
I believe that when people have to hide their true transition reality they have to invest so much energy in holding it together and making sure that they don't blow their cover, that they are only partially available to do their work! Rather than feeling supported and honored for what they are going through, they feel they must defend their position, project a mask of strength and an "I'm fine" attitude. Add this stress to the stress they are already feeling from their transition and they are plum exhausted!
After our recent week of freezing temperatures one of our flower beds had seen better days. As it happened it was the patch of the backyard that had mesmerized Aspen from his first day home. Every day we had to reprimand him for taking bites out of these plants.
On Saturday I took the plunge and started digging out the wilted plants. Of course Aspen had to help! He thought is was great fun to swipe the plants as I pulled them up. Then as more and more dirt got exposed, his digging instinct took over!
I think a picture will say it all!
You may have already received an email with some of these amazing images, but I thought it was worth showcasing these artistic renderings of animals!
Italian artist, Guido Daniele, has produced a series of body art images that are captivating. When you get to the collection, click on each image to see a larger rendition...take a break to take in the detailed beauty of each image.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase finger painting!
